Image courtesy of FrameAngel /

Image courtesy of FrameAngel /

When does one become a mother? Do you have to hold the child in your arms?

Is it a question of legality? Of feeling it to be true?

Of carrying a child inside you for 9 months? 6 months? What about 6 weeks?

I read this article some time ago regarding the discovery that children’s cells can be found in the brains of their mother. It’s called microchimerism, and in studies of women who miscarried, “significant fetal cell transfer” occurred.

I don’t feel like a mom. I feel like someone who had an opportunity for motherhood snatched away. But according to these studies, there are living cells in my brain from the embryo I lost. They are a part of me. Maybe my body knows it was a mother, even if it was so brief. Maybe that is why it is so difficult to move on.