Sorry for the radio silence. What it comes down to is this: I love being a mama and [most] everything that goes along with that. I DO NOT enjoy being pregnant. I APPRECIATE it, I am THANKFUL and RELIEVED to be pregnant and I am OVERJOYED to welcome another baby into our little family. But pregnancy is hard on my body and emotions, and I find it hard to make time to write about it lately.
Since I last wrote I have been incredibly sick and lost quite a bit of weight. The weightless is not a big deal, actually, given that I am overweight already and my midwives want my weight-gain limited this time around to around 15 pounds. I did get medication again, Zofran, which I was also on during my last pregnancy. It has helped keep things in check and allowed me to eat every day, even if I am still eating less than usual. My wonderful mother in-law came up and spent close to a week with us, just to help out. She cared for Bug during the day so that I could rest, cleaned the house, helped with meals, and was generally a huge blessing to us. Her timing could not have been better! Since she left I have slowly been starting to feel better. I have had several really good days, and a lot of okay days. Fewer really bad days. I do continue to struggle with headaches a lot (I have one right now, actually), which sucks.
Since I last wrote I have had the Nuchal Translucency ultrasound and got to see our little Cricket wiggling and kicking, heart beating, mouth opening and closing… so precious. I have struggled to connect to this pregnancy this time. I think this is mostly due to the fact that it doesn’t hold the same surprise and wonder and thrill of our first (successful) pregnancy. With Bug I was madly in love with her from the first positive test. We had waited and prayed and hoped and shed tears. This time it all happened so quickly, so easily… it still seems unreal, I suppose. I am also distracted by the very real presence of my daughter and my overwhelming love for her and the joy she gives me. So while I know I am pregnant, I haven’t quite bonded with this little one yet. I know it will come, and I know my love for this one will match my love for Bug. All things in time.
There is more I’d like to talk about, but my headache is getting worse and I am swiftly running out of steam. I hope to be back soon– hopefully on one of my good days!